Ok, so it's that time of year again. The time when co-workers start making that corny farewell joke "See you next year!" as you clock out on December 31st. That time when friends gather to ring in the new year with champagne toasts or families like me put on their fancy Victoria Secret sweatpants and snuggle with their husband and dogs on the couch while watching Netflix hoping to make it to midnight.
It's also that dreaded time of year when we all start making those annoying New Year's resolutions. Whether it be to lose the 20 pounds you gained eating pie and Christmas cookies, or to quit smoking, or to drop a dollar in a swear jar every time you say Fuck around your gaggle of screaming kids, we all have them. I am no exception most years. Mine is usually to join a gym that I never attend with the hopes of fitting into a pair of jeans that have had the tag on them for the last six years only to realize the only thing I have accomplished is paying said gym $250 for a years worth of drive by's. This year, I am refusing to make the usual resolutions. Instead I am resolving to a year of acceptance and self love. Because, let's face it, 2019 was a real bitch and I am hope she crashes and burns like a Y2K virus. So, 2020 these are the things I hope you put under my 365 day Christmas tree:
The most important thing I will remember is that this isn't the last year I have to do these things or change these things, or improve upon these things. It's just another year that I am blessed enough to still be here to grow older and wiser enough to have the chance and the opportunity to do them. So, 2019 - Peace out, Bitch. 2020 I'm coming in like a naked Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball for your ass. Be ready.
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AuthorSarcasm is as much my defense mechanism as it my truth. I am unabashedly honest, I live my life off-script and I make no apologies for my crass humor. So, sit back, grab a bottle (or two) of your favorite wine and settle in for a few good laughs, a little TMI and some unwanted life advice. You're welcome. Archives
April 2023
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