Nine years ago, while everyone was pretending to be 1/99th Irish, drinking green beer and drunk Irish jigging on sticky bar floors, all 317 pounds of this girl was being cut open like a corned beef sandwich and having her stomach resectioned and reassigned for the purpose of, well not being 317 pounds. I’ve learned a lot in nine years, to say the least. Let me give you a quick run down:
1) When you lose weight that quickly all you want to do is talk about how much weight you’ve lost. 2) While people say they are proud of you, and probably are (for the most part) genuinely proud of you, they quickly become sick of actually hearing about how much weight you’ve lost. 3) You become the be all to end all on nutrition and exercise and while it takes you a LONG time to figure it out, you do NOT know it all. Also, you sound like a know it all asshat. 4) You will spend everyday and every pound for the rest of your life worrying about ending up back where you started if you don’t eventually learn to pull your head from your ass (probably while in down dog) and learn not to take yourself so seriously, and just learn to fucking ACCEPT yourself. I could, and should have learned to love myself BEFORE having weight loss surgery rather than thinking I could only love another (supposedly) better, thinner version of myself. But, instead it took me a lot of years, a lot of tears, a lot of yo-yo’ing back and forth and constantly judging the number on the scale or the tag in my jeans, before I learned that I am ok being who I am. And I should always accept and be ok with everyone else even if sometimes that makes me feel “less than”. Because that’s on me, not them and that’s something I will learn to love and accept about myself with every growing day. I had weight loss surgery on St. Patrick’s Day and believed maybe the Luck O’ the Irish would be with me and make me successful, but let’s be real - I was always a magical, fucking unicorn long before that, and no surgery or number on a scale will ever change that. Top o’ the mornin’ bitches 🍀
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AuthorSarcasm is as much my defense mechanism as it my truth. I am unabashedly honest, I live my life off-script and I make no apologies for my crass humor. So, sit back, grab a bottle (or two) of your favorite wine and settle in for a few good laughs, a little TMI and some unwanted life advice. You're welcome. Archives
April 2023
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